Hello, I am Doctor Professor Mom. No, that’s not my real name but it’s a name
that makes me really proud. My oldest
son coined it a few months ago when he learned that I am not only a doctor but
I am also a professor and I am also a mom.
He seemed genuinely proud when he coined the name and, of course, I was
equally proud both at his creativity and at some of my accomplishments.
Even as a Doctor Professor Mom, it’s hard to feel accomplished. Maybe it’s something about academic medicine
where I feel pulled in a million different directions. I teach; I do research;
I see patients – it’s easy to feel like a jack of all trades and master of
none. Add on a busy family life and
mastery is not in my cards. But academic
medicine has given me incredible flexibility, variety, and satisfaction. Plus, I get to proudly say I am a doctor and
a professor.
Of course my proudest accomplishment is not that I am a
doctor or a professor but that I am a mom to three boisterous, energetic, and
absolutely wonderful sons. They are ten,
eight, and six (gasp - how did they get so old). After ten years of motherhood I have a lot to
reflect on in managing a household with two equally ambitious working parents
and ever changing challenges of parenting.
I became interested in writing about my experience as a
doctor and mother after my first son was born.
I spent 18 months crying every day when I went to work and decided (with
the incredible support of my husband) to leave my job and stay home. Then I struggled trying to find my identity
as a stay-at-home mom (I wrote about this experience in an essay called Dr. Mom). I returned to work and decided to
focus on research and a career in academic medicine. For me, it was an excellent choice. That being said, the struggles of being a
working mom, finding meaning and satisfaction in your work, and all the other
challenges of life never go away even when you feel like you’ve found the
perfect job.
When I wrote Dr. Mom in 2007, so many women contacted me and
thanked me for sharing my story. I
promised myself I would write more, but, not surprisingly, life got busy. I’m thrilled to have a place to write, to be
a part of a community of women in medicine and hope that something I write
will resonate with someone else.
Really looking forward to your posts, DPM. I'm impressed that you not only made the courageous move of staying home when it seemed like the right thing to do for you and your family, but also successfully re-integrating.
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ReplyDeleteI think a lot of readers here will find the "reintegration" angle really interesting. I do take issue with your assertion in the linked piece that you can't do both parenting and working full time well. I'm doing both presently, and *I* think I'm doing pretty well, all things considered. That made me feel a little defensive. I'm a bit tired of interacting with people, wondering if they think I'm a shitty mom because of my schedule. This sort of article just amps up that concern.
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