not blogworthy

I fear I am guilty lately of not blogging enough to warrant suspicion of revealing any concerning details.

And I fear that I am guilty most of the (blogging) time of not revealing enough about that with which I wrestle.

I self-censor in a few ways, mostly thinking about whether or not something that I've experienced, thought about, struggled with, is, well, blogworthy.

I also ask if this is a topic MIM-worthy. Is my online journal post-to-be just about being a mother (or a parent for that matter) or is it just about being a pediatrician, rather than the interdigitating of these two major roles in my life (plus SPOUSE, daughter, sister, and all that).

Often at the laptop in the evening my husband chides me with a gentle "are you blogging" (kind of like the "do you like clogging" line from some Jack Black movie). I want him to want to read what my fellow MIM bloggers are writing, to be as into the fun, the heavy, the sad, the puzzling as I am. But mostly I just pull up the latest doccartoon and we laugh, cringe, and reminisce together over those.

Then I think about professionalism, over-sharing, living in the moment instead of blogging about it, and basically I go back to overthinking it all anyway. Blogging IS one form of reflecting, of which I'm a big fan. But it is also doing so publicly, whether or not "out." I am guilty of posts that are real, but maybe read too much like they've been put through an IRB???

In life I am a person who is not afraid to emote, to tell it like it is, to feel, to cry. I don't know if I am that blogger however.