MiM Mail: Finances during medical school as a mother in medicine

Hi,

I am writing with a question that I would love to see what the MiM community has to offer for advice! My question is- while going through medical school as a parent, how did you handle the financial aspects of your day to day budget? Did you find that student loans were enough to live on for a family month to month? (Spouse and one child in my case). Did your spouse work at all? How did you afford childcare if the spouse worked? Also- how did you get health coverage? My school offers it and you can include your family on the plan- but it is so expensive!! The monthly premium would take up almost all of my monthly living loans and I would get very little left over. My school does not offer more assistance for families, just one set amount. I guess private loans are an option but I’m afraid of the high interest rates on those. I have also heard that private insurance plans might be less expensive per month but I really have no experience or knowledge about that and wonder if they provide good coverage (like if we were to have another baby, labor and delivery/prenatal care, pediatrician visits, etc)? I have heard a few families say they qualified for Medicaid but I am also not familiar with that at all. Last part of this financial question- how did you afford all of the other expenses like going on interviews, paying for step, etc? Does your school provide extra loans when the time comes or do you just have to figure it out on your own?

Thanks!
Rachael

MiM Mail: Considering medicine as a new mother in her 30's

Hi there! I've just discovered this blog, and have been binge-reading posts for the past three days!

I am a 35 year old brand new mother to a baby girl, living in Toronto, Canada. I have a successful career in Management Consulting (commerce undergrad, MBA), and while I enjoy many aspects of the work I am not personally or emotionally fulfilled by it. I began my undergrad in science, and for a variety of reasons (including a lack of confidence and discipline at the time) I decided being a doctor was not for me and I transferred programs. I've questioned this decision, off and on, for the past ~10 years. At the risk of sounding cheesy, with the arrival of my daughter I feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility to provide an example of pursuing a life and career that is meaningful and fulfilling. And so, I am considering applying to medical school at the ripe old age of 35 (I'd need to start from scratch with post-bacc and MCAT, and so I'd likely be at least 37 beginning medical school).

I'm hoping some of you might provide some insights / POV on the following:

Has anyone here pursued a similarly non-traditional career change? If so could you share your application preparation and process? As much detail as possible would be extremely helpful, including MCAT prep and approach for gathering the necessary volunteer and shadow hours.

Has anyone here pursued this path at a similar stage (mid-late 30s + kid(s))? I could be mid-forties by the time I complete training. Am I totally insane? Are the extraordinary costs (foregone income, tuition, time) to my family too great? How awkward/uncomfortable/lonely (or not) is it to be so much older than your classmates and colleagues?

Can anyone provide more detail on the hours and schedule during medical school and residency? I know it's intense and unpredictable, but exactly *how* intense and unpredictable? I come from a career with long hours and lots of travel, so I'm trying to understand specifically how my work/life balance would change during school, residency, and practicing. My interest is in either OB/GYN or FM (at this point).

Thank you in advance to anyone that is able to help me think through this very difficult decision. This is a wonderful community and resource.

Meghan

MiM Mail: How to ask for part-time?

I'd love for advice on the topic below. Thanks MiM!

I recently started my first attending job (anesthesiologist). I interviewed at many hospitals and ran the exhaustive lists of pros and cons with my husband before accepting a position at a large, academic tertiary care hospital near extended family. My reasons for picking this position were many, but a large part was the better work/life balance it seemed to offer over the private practice model (some private groups were regularly working 80 hours/week!).

Fast forward to now, when despite this being my best option, I'm still working 60 hours a week, my husband is still working full time, we are struggling to manage the day-to-day shuffle of having two kids. It's just as exhausting as residency! I need to cut back my hours for my own mental health and for my family, but how? I'm the newest attending. I'm the youngest attending. I'm female. I fear the "mommy track" label that will come with it, despite the fact that I will still be working more than 40 hours/week. I also resent the massive pay cut to work what any other professional would call full time.

I can get over all of my misgivings, but I'd love advice from people who have had this talk with their bosses. When is acceptable to ask? How long do I have to wait? How did you do it?

Thanks, ladies!

MiM Mail: Choosing between nursing school and medical school

Hi,

I came across your blog many times while looking for answers about being in medicine. A little bit about myself: have a BA in Biology and in History, an EMT license, and I work as a nanny to small children. Long story short, my mom died when I was 16 and she wanted me to be a doctor rather than a nurse in order to support myself better. Since this was the only path in medicine we had ever talked about, I now feel like I am betraying her by thinking about nursing. I also want to be a full time stay at home mom (in the far future) which only adds to my dilemma.

In terms of being a mom: I know that it is a loooong ways off, but I am a planner. I have run a household when I was 16 and 17, and I am a nanny to several families. One of these families both the mom and dad are doctors and their kids see the nanny more than their parents. I know I don't want that for my future family. I also do not have a good support system with people who could help take care of kids.

I know for a fact that I want to be somewhere in Emergency Medicine whether it be an NP on an ambulance, a RN in the ER, an ER doctor, or a trauma surgeon. I started thinking about nursing school while becoming an EMT because of the amount of patient contact nurses have in ER. I also know that I'm great with taking care of patients as tech.

BUT, I have been struggling with the idea of nursing for over a year now. I want the higher education of being a doctor and understanding the full picture of diseases. I want to be able to practice good medicine since my family has had so many doctors malpractice. I want to be able to be there for my patients like I imagine you all are. I was accepted to a medical school and I declined because I was engaged at the time.

Things I am struggling with:
1. Patient contact in the ER (I love how nurses are more hands on)
2. Education level (I have come across all types in both fields and most nurses and doctors encourage medical school, but I want to spend more hands on time with patients which I know will not happen in the ER)
3. I want to be able to help restructure programs and protocols to help improve patient care
4. Time to complete both (It is very likely that I will not be able to have children starting around 29/ 30 and I am almost 22. This makes me concerned about residency programs and being held back a year)
5. I've always dreamed about being a doctor and a stay at home mom (reality is hitting that these do not always go hand in hand)
6. I'm struggling to complete nursing school apps (I could get through with little debt in comparison to medical school)
7. Wondering about working part time as an ER doctor vs ER nurse

So, I am looking for your opinions about medical school vs nursing school. It's been hard to find someone who can give me answers when one of their solutions to one part will not work for me. I'm hoping that maybe as doctors and as moms you might see something different, or maybe offer some clarity on the medical school/ residency process. Thank you for taking the time to read an to think, I really truly appreciate it.

Thank you,
Kelly

MiM Mail: Residency applications and motherhood

Dear Mothers in Medicine,

I've been following your blog for a couple of years now, and every single post has worked for me as an inspiration to stay strong and fight for what I love, medicine. But today, I have found myself in a confusing position and I really need advice on a special subject, residency application and motherhood. I'm currently an MS4, yayy!! And as application day approaches, I have been working on my personal statement however, I'm encountering that one of my biggest assets (or so I feel) is being a mother. I have been advice by all my friends at medschool to not even mention my family, husband or 2 daughters (2yrs and 5 months). According to most people having a family will make me a less reliable resident than someone without strings attached. However, this is my story:

I married after college a few months before beginning medical school, my husband and I had been accepted to the same school, and things sounded great. During the first year we adapted to the new environment, developed our studying skills and set our expectations for matching one day.

Fast forward 1 year, and baby #1 came along. She was born during our 2nd year. We managed to fix our schedules for studying around the clock and created routines that allowed us to keep up with classes/exams while taking turns to care for our daughter. No LOA requested/no gaps, we were lucky enough that our baby#1 was born right before one break so we had 2 weeks off to adapt to our new family, and organize. Somehow, we survived and made it worked. Now, let's fast forward one more year and baby#2 came along (we wanted our daughter to have company as our families live across the country). Once again, we worked our way around it. I was able to get 1 week off during one of my rotations and resume the following monday. The attending was very understanding and seem surprised to see that I had decided it to keep going and again no LOA, no excuses given.

Today when I look back, I see that everything that I have done until this day has shaped me to who I am at this point. My desire to pursue medicine, and my determination to continue has remained strong while building the family that I always dreamt of. I always thought of medicine as a career choice not a life changer. As a mother, I feel that I learnt to be more organized and time efficient, I proved myself to be dedicated and goal oriented. So far we both remained on top of our class and have shown the same commitment since day one (I say we because this took teamwork). I took my step 1 and Step 2 CK/CS while breastfeeding/pumping because I wanted to continue to care for my daughters while working really hard to accomplish my goals. I wasn't willing to stay behind. Being a mother helped me connect with patients at more than one level, becoming very understanding of their concerns. I will applying to pediatrics because not only did I mentioned it on my personal statement when I applied to medical school as I always had a passion for peds but during these 4 yrs I realized that I'm drawn toward the field naturally. So I wonder, how can I write a "personal" statement of who I really am and why if I cannot mentioned how I became me and why I think I can be a good asset? I feel that a good physician should be able to show balance and commitment while remaining human and empathetic. Us moms, do this every day at home and on the field. Some people even believe in not even mention it during interviews but to be honest I am proud of being one and hope to become a great physician one day. Please any help or guidance. I am really confused right now.

Thanks in advance for all your help.

An MS4 hoping for the best!!

MiM Mail: Can I wean baby before medical school?

I am a 33-year-old MS0. My husband and I welcomed a beautiful baby boy October 2016. I have loved my time with him and I am also looking forward to medical school beginning in the fall - with nervous excitement!

We are relocating for school, but, fortunately, my husband is able keep his current job. However, he will have a 90-minute commute each way. We found a great daycare and my mom will live in town for backup. My school starts with gross anatomy, which means we are on campus all the time. I love nursing my baby but I struggle to imagine pumping/nursing in medical school.

Fortunately, I have not had issues with milk production and have started building a freezer supply. Does it make sense to wean baby and utilize the freezer supply and supplement with formula if needed? Is that okay? The pressures to breastfeed exclusively are harsh and I just want to care for my baby the best I can. I haven't started school yet, but the mom-guilt is already eating away at me.

P.S. - I am so thankful for this community! I love reading your stories and feeling the support between moms. I recently received a public nastygram on Facebook from a 'friend' who said she believes my choice to attend medical school is a "mistake" because I am a new mom. I want to not care, but I will admit my confidence is shaken.

-Anonymous

MiM Mail: Evidence-based skincare? Maybe?

I had to renew my passport the other day and send in my previous one with my new passport photo. Man, what a difference 10 years makes! It was there, as plain as day, the effects of 2 children, 4 years of medical school, 5 years of residency and fellowship, and way, way too many nights on call. I've never been one to spend a lot of money on skincare, but I now feel like my regimen may need an upgrade.

This coincided with no fewer than 4 of my friends on facebook now selling Rodan and Fields or Beauty Counter products, both with glowing "before and after" pictures. None of these are cheap! And I found myself asking- where is the evidence? Do any of these products really work? I can't escape my medical brain skepticism!

I thought this might be an area where some of our derm MIM might be able to shed some light. Or other MiM who have just done more research on this than I have. Your recommendations are much appreciated!

Yours truly,
Tired eyes and dull complexion

MiM Mail: Challenges of being a working parent of school-aged children?

I'm a resident and a mom, with two kids in elementary school. As my kids have gotten older it has gotten a lot easier to "balance" medicine and home life, but I am still quite frustrated with some of the residual things I'm unavailable for. Specifically, it's tough feeling out of the loop regarding school and extracurricular activities, such as having someone else do their homework with them, not being there right after school to hear how their day went and meet their friends, and not getting to observe many extra-curricular activities to determine their quality/worthwhileness. How are you moms of older kids staying involved with those important aspects of their schooling and overall life? When I attend parent-teacher conferences I seem to get positive feedback about how things are going but it's also somewhat generic. I was also wondering in general what some of the challenges of being a working parent of school-aged children and teens are and how you've counteracted those? It seems most of the advice online is for moms of younger kids. Thanks!

MiM Mail: Neurosurgery and "accessory" mother?

Hello writers/readers of MiM,

I have been a long-time reader of this blog and I absolutely love the content — thank you for being honest about both the highs and lows of being a physician-mother. I am currently a medical student, and intent on pursuing a career in neurosurgery. I would also like a (small) family, though currently I’m very single (other than my books ;) ) so any possibility of a family is at least a couple years down the road.

I come to you wonderful ladies asking for advice/encouragement/hard truth —whichever you feel is most appropriate. I was talking to one of my attendings today about my interest in neurosurgery and consideration of various residency programs/sub-i rotations. He gave me a lot of good advice about preparing for residency applications; however, he also brought up the lifestyle of neurosurgery and the difficulties being a female in neurosurgery entails.

I have long realized that having a career in any medical specialty, yet alone neurosurgery, will make the experience for my (future) children different than what I experienced growing up — I had a stay-at-home mom. I had (almost) completely accepted that, but today one of my attending’s choice of words really hit me — he said that I would be an “accessory” to whatever family I have, rather than playing an integral role. This has been quite distressing emotionally as I try to process both 1) if this is truly the case, and 2) if so, if I’m okay with that. I really cannot see myself doing anything other than neurosurgery and so it’s hard to reconcile both my love of this field and my desire for a family.

I appreciate any thoughts you take the time to share. Best wishes for 2017!

Gratefully,
Perplexed Med Student

MiM Mail: Fourth year pregnancy?

Hi there!

I am currently a MS3, married to an amazing husband for the past three years, and strongly considering pathology. We would like to have a child in my fourth year. The question for us is when to start trying and hopefully have the baby, and to maximize our chances of having the child before intern year.

Our original plan was to start trying this summer, with the hopes of having a child sometime between March and May. But I'm not sure how that would work out with having a newborn as an intern. I would really like to avoid being pregnant during my intern year (or just residency in general) as well, and so I'm also worried about the short window that gives us to try for a baby.

I do not have any familial support where I live, and I'm not considering residencies that will be near family (they live in an incredibly expensive city and have very few programs around them). Our plan for childcare is my husband quitting his job and becoming a stay-at-home dad - any money he would make by keeping his job would probably not cover the cost of daycare.

At my school, we get two months off for vacation, one of which is mandated in the winter months for interviewing. I believe I can also have two more months of light rotations as well, giving me a total of 1-3 months to spend between my interview period and infant-recovery time.

So here are my current pros and cons for having a baby earlier (Fall-Winter) vs. later (Spring).

Pros for having the baby earlier:

Will have an older infant by the time intern year starts.
May be able to avoid interviewing pregnant.
More time to get pregnant.
May be able to still use my vacation months during interview season if I have my child around that time.

Cons against having the baby earlier:

May have to interview very pregnant or be at risk of giving birth.
Will probably be very pregnant during possible audition rotations.
Will probably need to have my husband quit his job (or scale down to part time) to take care of the child while I am on rotations.
Will be taking Step II pregnant.

Pros for having the baby later:

Husband can keep his job at full time for longer, maximizing our income.
Might be able to stack my rotations so that I can have 3-4 months "off" or with light rotations to be with the baby until residency.
Avoid being pregnant while taking Step II.
Will be less pregnant during interview and possible audition rotations.

Cons against having the baby later:

Will have to interview pregnant.
Stacking my light rotations and vacation at the end of the school year may make it so I have less flexibility when interviewing for residency.
May not get pregnant in the short window we have.
Would go through intern year with a <3 br="" mon="" old.="">

I would love any feedback on my tentative plans - which of these are important vs. not so important? How difficult is it having a 3 month old vs. a 9 month old baby during intern year? - and what you would recommend for my husband and I. Thank you!

MiM Mail: Intern Regretting Specialty

Hello MiM!

I love your blog! It's been amazing reading everyone's stories and I hope I can get some insight or advice. I am currently a FM intern at my desirable location because I am near both my and my husband's family. We have a beautiful 5 month old daughter who is the light of my life. Since the match I've been regretting my chosen specialty. I came out of medical school loving a competitive specialty and was too discouraged to go through with it and under family pressure to come home for the baby's sake. I thought I had to do what's right for my family and return home where we can get some help and my daughter could be in a loving environment. My husband is a teacher and wasn't happy at our med school location. He was over the moon about coming home I couldn't disappoint him... But now I regret everyday I'm in this specialty.

Things I like about FM is the variety such as derm, pediatrics, and psych. Things I don't like about FM is I hate chronic health conditions. I don't like to be responsible for managing diabetes with kidney failure and liver cirrhosis plus 30 medications. My personality is much suited for a more specialized area. I don't know what to do. I want to switch into something else but I have no idea what. I would love to do dermatology but it is so highly competitive that I doubt I would get in. I also don't think my family will be willing to relocate for me to pursue options to get in such as a research fellowship. Other areas I'm interested in is pediatrics, EM, and psych. I know I know it sounds like I should do FM but I just can't take the "bread and butter" of it.

General pediatrics sounds better to me then general practice because kids don't generally have so many chronic health conditions for me to manage and I love working with kids. I didn't consider it in med school because of parents but now I am one and totally get it!! EM also sounds perfect on paper but the lifestyle scares me (nights,weekends, holidays) high burnout rate, and life/death pressure. Psych was a great rotation in med school but I know how emotionally draining patients can be. Also none of these residencies are available in my hometown and would require moving. Should I do what's best for my family? Try and stick it out? Or ultimately try and pursue something that will make me happy? I'm so conflicted because I know moving would be hard on all of us :((( and I'm scared to make things harder on my husband and me.

Any insight or advice is appreciated! Thank you!

Sincerely,
Regretful Resident

MiM Mail: RN considering medical school

Hi MiMs,

I would first like to say thank you for sharing your stories and your day-to-day experiences and challenges of being mothers and physicians. Your stories have been helpful to me as I consider making a change in career paths. I am 25 years old, unmarried, no children at this time. I work as an RN in an ICU in the south. Prior to becoming a nurse, I studied biology and psychology and then obtained my MSN to become a nurse. I'm considering returning to medical school and becoming a physician. One of the reasons for this is that I question whether I will live up to my potential academically by remaining a nurse, and I have a thirst for greater knowledge than what I currently have. On the flip side, I enjoy my work as a nurse, taking care of patients, leaving work at work when I come home, and having a flexible schedule that allows me free time to travel and have a life outside of work. My sister is married and is in her intern year of IM and most of the time seems miserable and can attest to the strain placed on a marriage by residency. Although I'm not to the point of motherhood currently, being a mother with multiple children is something to which I have always aspired. My concern is that if I become a physician I wouldn't have the time to spend raising children and taking care of them like I hope to. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Thank you!

Sincerely,
Laura

MiM Mail: Pumping while on call

Dear MiM,

I am nearing the end of my glorious maternity leave. As my first day back in the OR draws near, I would love any and all advice on how to make breastfeeding work while having to do 24-28 hour calls. Obviously I will be pumping as much as possible while on call, but have been warned by all (including lactation consultant and pediatrician) of the likelihood of dwindling milk supply given the long times away from my baby.

Thanks in advance!

MiM Mail: Share your anecdotes about pregnancy and maternity leave

Hi fellow mothers in medicine, I'm currently a resident and pregnant with baby #2. I must say that the attitudes I have encountered throughout this pregnancy from my attendings and peers have been discouraging. I'm working on writing an op-ed piece about attitudes toward pregnancy and maternity leave among US physicians and would love to have more quotations and anecdotes from your experiences. Positive and negative comments are welcome (please comment below)! Sadly, mine have been mostly negative. Thanks so much!

MiM Mail: Turning Back

Dear MiM,

I was first introduced to MiM 7 years ago when I was on the path to do a clinical psychology PhD and considering changing my career to medicine. A great mentor was trying to encourage me in both my dream to someday have a family (I was single at the time) and to practice medicine. Fast forward and I am sitting in a "How to make a Match rank list" meeting, fighting back tears.

The problem is, I'm not sure I want to Match. Don't get me wrong, I love medicine and I don't feel that anyone led me astray. I can see myself practicing (probably part-time) in the future and being able to love my work. I am not discouraged by the notion of having a family in medicine. I simply do not think I have three more years in me. For months, I've been interviewing and trying to envision how my life would fit into each residency program and I've become increasingly discouraged. I am envious of my friends with their 8-5 jobs that support their lifestyle and am disheartened by the concept of spending a lifetime trying to make my lifestyle fit my career. My partner - who still loves me dearly and who has patiently supported me through a post-baccalaureate program and four difficult years of medical school (and poverty) - has talked about us splitting because he does not believe he can survive three more years of bending to my schedule and being alone so much of the time. (As an aside, I do not blame him for considering this, and I ask that you do not blame him either.) Add to that, there are no programs where we currently live. We have just begun to fall in love with where we live, we have many non-medical friends, my partner has a fantastic job (that is not transferable), and our families are within a reasonable drive. When I started down this path, a partner and a family were merely figments of my imagination. Now, I am the worst half of a relationship, the partner who is never available to be spontaneous and when I am, is exhausted and out of shape. I am the person who is hindering my partner's career and tying him where I need to be. And, perhaps even worse, I owe him everything because I could not have made it thus far without him. Plus, I have some health issues that may impede my fertility, and the clock is quickly winding down to when the risks of pregnancy far outweigh the benefits. Add all that to $400k of debt and I feel terrible while all my classmates around me excitedly making their Match lists.

So do I pack it all in now, graduate with my MD and move on with my life, ashamed but being free of the struggle for balance in medicine? Or do I go through the Match, probably lose my life partner and simply cross my fingers and hope that a) I make it through with my mental health relatively intact and b) I can overcome my resentment and still enjoy medicine? This is such a sensitive topic that I am afraid to reveal my reservations to my mentors and I have valued the fantastic insight of the MiM community thus far. Thank you, in advance, for your support!

Sincerely,
Struggling with the Match

MiM Mail: Hope it gets better

I hope things get better. At least that is what I tell myself everyday as I leave my house at the crack of dawn to get to work, barely having seen my child the day before. Better I do this now than when she is older are the words of encouragement I get to help me cope with my situation. I knew from an early age that my greatest desire was to become a mom, a working mom that is, until, Miss A arrived. I received the news I was pregnant halfway through my residency interviews. Scared, upset, sad were the emotions going through my head when I found out I was pregnant as this wasn't planned. I just got married and we wanted to wait at least a year. How the heck am I going to manage beginning intern year 9 months pregnant??!!?? I dreaded telling whichever program I matched into that I would have to take maternity leave so early in the start of residency. But, I thought I could do it. I was strong enough. Fast forward almost a year later. Every day I wonder if I made the right decision to not delay starting my residency. I miss so much of her development with my crazy hours. I see all my friends who could afford to be stay at home moms and become extremely envious. How lucky are they that they can be there for their child while I'm stuck working 70+ hours. Why did I become a doctor??!! Right now I am in the midst of reapplying to a more lifestyle friendlier residency but I'm constantly wondering if it gets better. If it is worth it. If I didn't have the massive loans, I would have quit already. I never imagined how something so small could cause you to rethink you life decisions. I fear that whatever little bond we developed during my maternity leave will dissolve. That I will be viewed as a stranger. God, I miss her. I just hope it gets better.

MiM Mail: Am I crazy?

I am a 31-year-old, hospital-based speech therapist in TX who will apply to medical school in 2016. As a newlywed several years ago, we found out my husband is gene-positive for Huntington's disease. Obviously it's a devastating diagnosis, but, fortunately, no one in his family has shown any symptoms prior to age 65.

I have always wanted to be a physician and my husband has been incredibly encouraging of my dream. We completed preimplantation genetic diagnosis with IVF and have 4 healthy embryos.

Now I/we have been hyper-analyzing when to implant. I've thought about everything from this January to M4. If we shoot for Jan/Feb/March, I could have nearly a year with my little one before med school starts. But I could look pregnant during my interview. Should I wait to ensure acceptance? Am I crazy to consider pregnancy now?

I would love your opinions!

MeriAnn

MiM Mail: Advice for an ex-husband of a MiM-to-be

Hello!

Being a father not interested in medical school makes me a somewhat non-traditional reader I imagine.

I am ultimately writing for advice. I read a number of great posts on your blog, but I am coming at this from a different direction and was hoping one of you would be able to point me in the right the right way.

My ex-wife is a brilliant woman in her Junior year of her undergrad and planning to start applying for medical schools. We have a good co-parenting arrangement and try to do our best by our three boys (4, 5 and 7). I am no longer in the medical field but do have 8 years experience as a critical care paramedic so I can appreciate both how talanted she is and how hard her road is going to be. She is going to apply locally but is also looking at the Virginia area due to family there. I am willing to consider relocation if I can find appropriate work (I work in IT in a rather specialized area).

My question is, how can I best approach the subject of custody? I don't want to take the kids away from her by any means (she is a fantastic mom!), but I am concerned that raising three young school age boys while attending medical school will be overwhelming. She can accomplish anything she sets her mind to, but even she can't accomplish *everything*.

My initial thought is to offer/ask to take the custodial role, freeing her up to apply herself 100% at school while still affording the boys a stable home life and predictability in routine. I don't know for sure how she would receive this, but suspect she would at least be willing to consider it. Then again, as a divorcee my ability to mis-read her intentions is a matter of public record. : )

There has to be a mutually beneficial way to handle this situation that benefits all of us, and I am looking for advice on where I could look for information. I have looked at some of the schools websites for information on family services offered by medical schools but it's hard to find in a lot of cases.

If you have a moment, would you be able/willing to point me in the right direction, or even offer some insight from your own experiences?

Many thanks for your time!

MiM Mail: Making residency safer for pregnant residents

Mothers in Medicine! I am seeking your advice/expertise on the difficult subject of how to treat pregnant residents. A little background: I am a chief resident at a busy anesthesia program that takes frequent and draining 24 hour calls in the OR. Those calls are such that, most of the time, the call room is a distant fantasy. I am also a mom to an active preschooler and pregnant with #2. All was going well until after a particularly exhausting 24 hour call, when I started having frequent, regular contractions at 20 weeks. I had to take several days off work and (thankfully!) things calmed down. I'm now trying to ease myself back into the OR call rotation.

My question for all of you who have been through a resident with tough, frequent 24 hour calls or night shifts... how did your program handle pregnant residents? I've heard from friends at other programs about policies that were put in place to limit calls because so many pregnant residents were going into preterm labor. Other programs limited night shifts for the same reason. Obviously, these changes put strain on non-pregnant residents. Was there widespread resentment to enacting such restrictions?

Amazingly, I'm the first resident to be pregnant at our program in over a decade, but I know there are many women behind me hoping to do the same. I'm hoping to find some common sense changes that can be made to keep pregnant residents working, but in a safe way for mom and baby.

Thanks in advance!

MiM Mail: DO or MD school and motherhood

Dear Mothers in Medicine,

First of all, thank you for being so helpful and encouraging. When trying to decide whether or not to pursue medicine, I read just about every post and every comment on here! Now I am writing to pick your brains about MD/DO. There is a lot of information out there on the residency "merger," and the differences and similarities of the MD and DO approach.

However, I am writing to you because I want to know how getting a DO degree over an MD degree might impact my future specifically as a mother.

Right now I can either apply DO this cycle (the application season is longer) and start school in the Fall of 2016 or wait to apply next year to MD and DO programs and have more options, but start in the Fall of 2017. I am already 27, so starting sooner is very appealing to me, but I don't know how much my age should matter. Either way we will be having children while I am in medical school and residency.

Although I am pretty set on primary care, I worry that I could be wrong. Two years ago when I started this journey, I didn't think I really liked science --- I thought I just needed to get thru the pre-reqs so I could go into pediatrics or FM to provide care to rural and underserved communities. Turns out though, I LOVE science. For a few good hours I considered pursuing a PhD in biochemistry instead of medical school.

Now there is a small part of me that wants to keep my options open incase I fall in love with a specialty I don't even know exists yet, or if I decide to do research. But this --- always wanting to keep all my options open for as long as possible --- is one of my weaknesses and I don't know how much to indulge that part of me!

From reading all the posts on here that mention osteopathic medicine, it seems like a few regret their decision to go DO (momstinfoilhat and RH+) while a few (mostly students) left more positive comments. RH+ wrote in 2008:

"Don’t become a D.O. Right now you are sure that you are going to practice rural family medicine, this will change when you start rotating through different specialties. You are being told that being a D.O. will not affect your ability to get into residency. This is not true. You will seek to match in a competitive specialty, and it will be harder for you to get a spot. It will also make it harder to get a fellowship."

But, this was back in 2008. So I don't know if it is still true? I also saw someone mention that DOs have to do more away rotations in their third year than MDs? With the young children we hope to have, this could be frustrating.

A few physicians on here have mentioned taking time off to care for a newborn and doing research during their time off. Is this an option that is available to DOs? I ask because I haven't heard of any DOs doing it, but I like the flexibility that idea offers.

So, all this to ask, if going the DO route limits our choices later (in terms of a research year to care for a new baby or options for residency locations or job locations... which could limit access to family support), then maybe I should wait the extra year and try for MD while also applying to DO schools?

To those on hiring committees (MD and DO), have you or your colleagues ever passed over DO applicants in favor of MD applicants?

To DOs who are doing their residencies and DOs who are working: Did you feel limited in the match or when applying to jobs? Do you regret your decision to go DO? Do you feel like you have had to work harder to prove yourself as competent as those with MD degrees? Did you feel like your clinical training (years 3+4) was as strong? Can you think of any unexpected ways being a DO might have influenced you and your families lives?

Thank you so, so much for taking the time to read this. I really appreciate any help and advice you can share.

All the best,
Confused pre-med and pre-mom