Thankful in this moment

I am thankful for this hour of quiet. My father is in town helping us for 4 weeks while my husband is away doing research. I signed up to take Zo trick or treating but the greater than 50 notes I have to finish from the last 2 weeks are weighing on me and I have vowed to finish them this weekend.

I am thankful for the opportunity to care for my patients and their families. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t laugh and smile and sing and dance with my patients and think to myself or say out loud how wonderful they are. From the teenagers affected by gun violence who are working so hard to graduate high school and stay out of trouble to the school aged children who get so excited telling me about their dreams. To the new parents whose babies are growing and thriving. There cannot be another job like this!

And I am thankful that my position has just the right amount of joy coupled with dysfunction to keep me motivated but to also remain committed to finding solutions to enhance the work experience of community pediatricians. I cannot imagine how folks continue with this schedule for years and years. I have been practicing full time for less than 6 months and I seriously need a scribe, personal/house assistant, cleaning person, and driver for our son. Out of discomfort comes great things so I will work hard to building a better future for myself and future providers as well. It has to get better. And I have some ideas on how to make it happen.

I am thankful for being given the opportunity to raise my beautiful, outgoing, silly, passionate 4 year old with my extroverted introvert of a husband. I am thankful that my husband’s schedule is flexible enough to accommodate random days off from school. I am thankful that my new salary allows my husband the ability to pursue his research interests. And I am so freaking thankful that at this time next year he will likely have a full time job with benefits so that I can work on a schedule that gives me more freedom to pursue my research and advocacy interests.

In this moment I am thankful. And that’s all that really matters.