Not the last...the first

I am thankful for many things as I reflect on a tumultuous year.

I am thankful that a program that didn't even exist yet became available to me last year enabling me to move back to my hometown for fellowship.  I didn't know that only months after I accepted the position I would discover that my mother's breast cancer would come back all over her body.

I am thankful for a supportive fellowship program - colleagues, mentors and my mothers doctors all in one.  I am thankful that they are on my team, and on her team.

I am thankful that my daughter can go to "grandma's house" multiple times a week.  I am grateful that they are buddies now - both at a loss if they haven't seen each other for more than a day.  I am so grateful for this time.

I am grateful that my husband who has been stifled in his career by the location of my residency is now managing a large group and doing a job he loves.  This move has been good for all of us.

I am grateful for impromptu dinners with my siblings, my best friends, who I haven't been able to hang out with for years.

Most of all I am thankful that when I feel tears well up as I realize that this Thanksgiving and this Christmas may be my last with my mom, I can instead focus on the fact that it is really the first -  The first Christmas my sweet baby girl gets to spend with Grandma.  The first Christmas that I have been able to spend with my entire family in 13 years.  I am thankful for first - with a mustard seed of hope that this will be the first of many.

I am thankful for family and the sweet gift of each day we get to spend together.