Hello MiM!
I'm excited to be joining this fantastic community that has helped me tremendously from the time I started thinking about medicine to now, 12 weeks shy of starting my first year of medical school. A little bit more about me, my background is in finance, but after a few years on Wall Street I knew I was going down the wrong career path. After having my first daughter in 2011, I realized if I really wanted to go for medicine, I had to get on it. I am extremely lucky to have a supportive husband and thus started my post-bac when my daughter, SK, was 1. Because I was a finance major in college I had to take all the pre-reqs and although I've always loved school, I learned that studying with a toddler in tow was a completely different experience than my undergrad years. (Like that time SK accidentally locked me in the garage like a prisoner before my organic midterm...)
Now said princess is turning 4 in June and we are expecting another in a matter of weeks. It was my plan all along to squeeze another child in before the start of school, but the window was limited and tricky. At one point I was clearly delusional and considered being a "little bit" pregnant for the MCAT, but thankfully came to my senses. I am sad that baby #2 will still be tiny when school begins, but I know I am luckier than most to have the flexibility that comes with being a student.
I am really looking forward to sharing my journey through school with you all. I have to confess, I feel like quite a newbie - I've done the mom thing for a while now, but I've just started the medicine part. And with so many wonderful members in this community who are much more advanced in their careers than I, I am curious what others would like to see from me. Please let me know!
And now I will leave you with my brilliant plan for the next 12 weeks before I take the plunge into medicine:
1. Pack up house and move most of our stuff to new city.
2. Rent out current place.
3. Host fantastically awesome Rapunzel birthday party for SK at 38 weeks pregnant.
4. Pop out baby #2.
5. Move the rest of our stuff and drive down to med school.
6. Get situated (make sure SK likes school, find nanny (!), get to know area, figure out transition from life with 1 kid to life with 2, oh and unpack)
7. Start school and balance marriage, 2 kids and student-life like a boss*
* TBD. May need help with this one, but absolutely thrilled to be pursuing my dream.
Cheers all!
Edit: I wrote this post before I saw Cutter's post from yesterday. After reading it and all the comments below which seemed to offer a resounding and unanimous "no" to her question, I realize my post may sound slightly manic and also maybe naive. But I am honestly very excited for this new experience that lies ahead and think it would be wrong even, to make such a drastic change in my life and not put everything into it. I have so much respect for Cutter and all the women in this community who have taken the path that I am just now embarking on. And I would be lying if I said I was not affected by some of the comments. But I was also very encouraged by the fact that many of you absolutely love what you are doing. I know I have a lot to learn and I may feel differently down the line, but for right now, I can't look back and can only look forward and say yes.
Even after writing my post I still think that you should follow your dream and your passion. If my daughter said she definitively wanted to be a surgeon, even knowing what I know, I would still be proud! Everyone's perspective is useful at every stage. Sometimes when we get to "no" it helps to hear someone like you give us a glimpse of the journey. Welcome and thanks for a wonderful post!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the welcome! I certainly didn't mean to imply that your post was swaying me away from pursuing medicine and I hope it didn't come across that way! Your post to me is both real and full of passion. I need that more than anything right now - to be prepared going in and knowing what to expect. I know I will have my "no" stage somewhere down the line and I take comfort in knowing that others have been there. Thank you for putting your feelings and experience out there!
DeleteI am a medical student educator and have to say how inspired I've been by some of the "non-traditional" medical students I have worked with. Hearing their stories of leaving a first career, and have a calling to medicine --I see their passion and commitment to this (sometimes long and challenging) path so clearly. It is not for everyone, but for those who are called, I truly believe it can be wonderful profession full of meaning. So many people go through their lives doing something they don't love doing. I think to get to do something you love and have talent for is a rare gift. I sometimes come home from work and can't believe I get to do what I do for a living.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I do think we need to create programs and policies within medical education to best support people to thrive, not burn out. There's a whole growing literature on resilience in medicine and what factors support that. Find mentors and role models who are resilient and love what they do. And of course, we will support you here along the way! Welcome, and so glad to have you with us.
Thank you KC!
DeleteIt is so tough. I am halfway through school with a kid and have my moments of doubt. The good news, the first two years really are a flexible time and if you are the go-getter I am guessing you are, you can handle it all. … Just plan ahead and build the support you need for the clinical world (including financial planning!) and good luck!
ReplyDeleteTake posts like the one by Cutter with the grain of salt. She is about to finish a surgery residency which is long, grueling, and exhausting. She might well feel differently in a few years from now when there's a bit of distance between her and the hazing.
ReplyDeleteI hope I don't feel differently in a few years, I hope I still love what I do and love my colleagues and have no regrets. That's actually why I wrote the post. I think that due to the collateral damage and uncertainty with the direction of medicine I may not take this road if I had to do it again. There are lots of moments in life where you get to the end of something and think - wow, I would not do that again, or date that person again, or take a trip to Europe with no money. It doesn't mean that the journey was any less exhilarating. Its an interesting feeling to have which many other women who replied agreed with. I haven't been hazed, instead I'm in a supportive program, I am treated with respect and as I become more senior my attendings treat my like their junior colleague, they challenge me to be better, they encourage and amaze me. It is the realization of what it feels like to be out of the grueling, thankless year of intern year and into the high level of responsibility that comes with seniority that makes this both very hard and very awesome at the same time.
DeleteInstead of taking it with a grain of salt, maybe there are ways to change the experience for the better, to reduce the collateral damage. To better allow for focusing on the medicine and the patient. Just a thought.
And perhaps the first step in changing the experience for the better, is creating a safe space (like MiM) for open discourse on everyone's experiences, instead of taking experiences that don't fit with the ideal view of a doctor, with a grain of salt. In this way, it's a lot like motherhood - we all have 'rockingchair alice-headband moments, where Johnson and Johnson Lavender bathwash puts a beautifully smelling baby to sleep, as a single tear slowly rolls down our cheek' but most of us also have 'I haven't showered for a week, who is this monster in my nursery, please go away and let me sleep' moments. I love medicine, and I'm saddened that for me, and judging by the responses to Cutter's post, at least for a few others too, the nature of the 'job' detracts from it. As you've said, Cutter, saying I wouldn't choose it again in no way minimises the joy and deep connection I feel when I'm helping a patient. Rather, it says things need to change, so that all of us can say 'Emphatically yes, we'd choose it again'. Surely people centred care starts at home.
DeleteCutter, if you don't mind me saying so, your post below did not reflect a "love for what you do." It made you sound really burnt out. Perhaps you contend that it's possible to simultaneously love what you do and be burnt out at the same time. That's not my personal experience. And truly, if you are burnt out, you may well feel differently in a few years time. I also did not mean to suggest that individuals were unpleasant to you. The entire system of residency training in the U.S. Is unpleasant, hazing if you will. I didn't think that was so controversial.
DeleteI hope this is a forum for all responses to be considered equally. The beauty of MiM is in hearing from all people, at all stages. Each post is true for that person at that time and I think we'd all agree, feelings may change depending on the stage of training/life/general guff that's otherwise going on. But equally, they may not, and in my own experience it was the 'they may not change' views that I never heard. Perhaps if I had, I would have spent less energy trying to ignore my misgivings and gone into it with a more balanced view. So rather than take Cutter's post with a grain of salt, I'd urge you to read it, consider that you may or may not feel like that at some stage, and file it away as a potentially useful reference to come back to, if at any stage you do end up feeling the same. It doesn't have to, nor should it, take away from the joy and energy you feel as you start your journey. I know people like KC who would do it all over again in a heartbeat. So take all our stories and use the bits that help you at the time you need help. Enough cliches for now - welcome to MiM !
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment! My intention with the edit at the end was definitely not to single Cutter's pov out as negative. I've read MiM for a few years now and absolutely love the different perspectives. I didn't mean in any way that she was taking away from my excitement of starting school. Just validating that her post and emotions are very real and they do give me pause at times. I also was more concerned about the juxtaposition of the two posts and didn't want to come off as so "rah rah" after her post! I definitely appreciate her pov and I know that somewhere down the line I will feel the same way. I actually find it comforting that I will know that when I'm at that point, that others have felt the same way and that it's a normal response. Thanks for the welcome!
DeleteHi Calimed, your post was fantastic - and spot on. You absolutely shouldn't look back. I know reading a post like Cutter's and its responses, including mine, would give even the most enthusiastic med student pause for thought. I think that's a good thing though - for too long, medicine has been full of 'you can do it' 'you'll change your mind' 'its all worth it' etc, and I for one am thrilled to not only hear voices like Cutter's mingling with all the ra-ra positivity, but also to have a place where that's ok. Because it is hard. But how hard varies for each of us. I think medicine, like motherhood, is a different experience for different people, depending on your resources, support, partner, specialty, office politics, age, number of children, health of children - the list goes on. So although I do feel like Cutter, I also feel like KC - and have gone home many times in disbelief that I actually get to do such a fantastic thing in life - and get paid for it. Equally, I wish it hadn't taken so much to get to that point. So please don't worry about your post - it wasn't your edit at the end that prompted me to write - and keep going ra-ra about it for as long as you can!
DeleteI love that you have all this enthusiasm. Carry it as a talisman with you through the challenging years ahead. I found that many non-traditional students were actually happier during med school and residency than those of us who had gone straight through (there may even be some research to back that up that I vaguely remember seeing somewhere years ago.)
ReplyDelete