My older daughter has always been an amazing eater. She eats her fruits, her vegetables, her meats, her starches, and of course everything in the baked goods food group. One of her favorite foods? Scallops. I was a terribly picky eater as a child, so I always wondered what I did to deserve such a great eater.
Well, the second time around, I got what I deserved.
My youngest daughter is a terrible eater. The only thing she wants for dinner every night is chicken nuggets. And even then, I sometimes have to beg her to eat them. And God forbid they have the wrong shape, like if I gave her the circular ones when she wanted the dinosaur ones, or vice versa. (I'm never going to know which one she wants until it's actually in front of her.)
Recently, she suffered a really pathetic bout of constipation, and my husband asserted that she needs to eat more fruits and vegetables. (He already slipped through some of his fiber cereal in with her Cheerios in the morning.) Well, maybe fruits are possibility, but how do you get a kid who won't even eat the yummy stuff to eat more vegetables?
And furthermore, I have to wonder if it's really worth it. If she has to be coaxed to eat french fries or chicken nuggets, I can't imagine what I'm going to have to do to get vegetables in her mouth. It would probably have to involve a slingshot. So what if she doesn't eat her vegetables? Is it really so awful?
Hungry Monkey is a great book on the science of children's eating. It's also very funny.
ReplyDeleteAre her numbers & bloodwork within normal limits....for your family makeup? If so I wouldn't worry much. If not I would consider a eval
ReplyDeleteAre her numbers & bloodwork within normal limits....for your family makeup? If so I wouldn't worry much. If not I would consider a eval
ReplyDeleteI have one of each in my family too, but they came in the reverse order. Was very surprising when my second child simply said, "Yes, l'll try that," and, "Can I have some more brussels sprouts?"
ReplyDeleteOne "fun" goal can be to have her try to eat something of every color throughout the week (but not the artificial kind, you know?) Like purple grapes and blue-berries and orange carrots and red apples and...
Anyway, don't know your daughter's age, but here's a humorous one to read together, "Gregory The Terrible Eater" by Mitchell Sharmat.
Anything that makes food a battleground is a bad thing. Have you read Ellyn Sattler's work? I read one of her books before Eve was born and was an immediate convert to what she calls the division of responsibility - we decide when they eat and what's available, and they decide how much and what they'll choose to eat. Eve ate veggies when she was a baby and then stopped. She's 14 now and the only vegetable she'll eat reliably are carrots. We do insist on carrots at dinner, every night, and other than that we pretty much let it go. Constipation is more often due to inadequate water or withholding rather than inadequate veggies - and even if veggies will help, making food a battleground is a bad idea. To coin a phrase, I'd let it go :)
ReplyDeleteI just don't think the nutritional benefit of vegetables outweighs the aggravation that will be caused by trying to get her to eat them.
ReplyDeleteI have the exact same problem, and the same exact thought process. It is too aggravating arguing with her and having her throw temper tantrums, so I stopped trying! She eats only what she wants. Some nights, its a donut for dinner. I hope and pray that she gets enough vitamins from her formula and well, vitamins that I put into her formula. But overall, I figure--happy mommy, happy baby.
DeleteYou may be surprised, since it seems you haven't tried vegetables too much. If you put then on her plate and don't comment, or on the table and don't make a fuss about them, she may be inclined to try them. My daughter thinks peas and corn and broccoli are the best most exciting foods ever (??) What if you just put them out on a plate next to her and see what happens if everyone else takes one?
ReplyDeleteRoasted veggies take Bitterness out. Kids have 10k tastebuds whereas adults have 2k. Also involve her in shopping for veggies and preparation. Not sure of her age but involvement seems to pique interest in young kids. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteFood battlegrounds are awful and benefit no one. Is it a big deal? Probably not. You can treat the constipation with water and fruit and fiber-rich grains. We eat a TON of veggies (we=grown ups) and we eventually would like to all eat the same thing, so we keep working on it in a hopefully low-stress way. We just keep trying different things. My older will eat things peas, broccoli, carrots. My younger only eats red bell pepper and corn. So I make them eat some of those daily, and ever few months make them try something new. I've always harped on "your tastes change as you grow" so when they don't like something, they'll say "maybe when I'm 4, or 6 (or 30, for things they REALLY don't like)".
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ReplyDeleteI think it's about routine and expectation. You're allowing her to mandate a chicken nugget only diet. So, this is her routine, and it's her expectation. It's also her routine and expectation to be able to control you in this regard. It sounds to me like she's testing the boundaries when she pushes for even further control in demanding you to change the shape of the nugget after you've already cooked one kind. But, she finds that even here, there are no boundaries, that she can control you even in this aspect. She needs to have boundaries, and part of her is testing because she really wants those boundaries, wants to know where they are. It sounds harsh, but the "eat it or go without" method is something really works, and you only have to implement it for a short period of time before they understand the new expectation, and the new routine, which is exactly what an above commenter mentioned - you control what is offered, and when. They get to choose what to eat, and how much. Another add-on tactic that works well with this is offering only a small portion of the "yum" items, as well as small portions of healthy items. If the yum item is finished first, and more is requested, I will say "Yes, you can have more, once you finish ___." Maybe I'll pick just one veggie on the plate that I think they're likely to enjoy if they try it, or something I think they need, etc. I think good nutrition is extremely important at a young age, not only for development but also for life-long eating habits. And last, if the kids opts to not eat, don't worry about it! It's one meal, maybe two max that they're going to actually choose this option. They're not going to starve to death, and the long run gains far outweigh that little bit of nutritional sacrifice.
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