Last weekend, I took little Mel to a carnival, and BOY did that make me feel old.
I bought an armband to get unlimited rides because, hey, it's a carnival. About sixty seconds after buying the armband, I deeply regretted this decision. I think it was when I watched the passengers on one of the rides careening over my head and I almost threw up. I almost threw up just from watching the ride.
The first ride Mel and I went on was the ferris wheel. That seemed like a safe bet. It just went up and down, no spinning, no turning, nobody on the ride was screaming. But as it turns out, I'm now afraid of heights. When did that happen?
I wanted to keep my feet on the ground after that, so Mel convinced me to go with her into this funhouse. It was very much like this funhouse. However, unlike Olivia Newton-John, I almost killed myself trying to get through the rotating circle. Believe me, there was nothing sexy about my attempts to get through that stupid funhouse. Every time there was a spinning or rotating thing that I could avoid, I tried to do so. And the funhouse ended with a slide. Let's just say that I can't go down a slide anymore without spraining some muscle beginning with "gluteus."
As soon as she got out, Mel said she wanted to go again. I suggested she go herself. And the time after that too.
Next we got to a ride that was called "Optical Illusion." I figured, how bad could this be? It's just an optical illusion! When I got inside, it was just a single stationary walkway where the walls had spinning dots. But nothing was actually moving. Except the second I stepped into the walkway, it literally felt like the universe was rotating. I almost collapsed. I came running out the entrance, saying I couldn't go through with it.
After that, I mostly let Mel go on rides by herself. I noticed at that point that I was the only adult who was dumb enough to buy an armband.
When it was getting time to leave, I told Mel that I'd go on the Tilt a Whirl, because she'd been begging to go and she was scared to go alone. I was almost having a panic attack while we were waiting for the ride, but I kept telling myself it would be okay. Sure enough when we got on the ride, it was a lot of fun. But the second I got off the ride, I wanted to DIE. I was dizzy, nauseous, and I had a splitting headache.
Best of all, Mel still had tons of energy and wanted to ride like ten more things before we left.
I don't get it. When I was a kid, I used to LOVE all those rides. Tilt a Whirl was my favorite! What happened to me??? When did my brain decide that spinning and whirling isn't fun anymore?
When my husband and I first got together, we spent a lot of time finding the most awesome amusement parks with the highest, scariest roller coasters. Ones where you felt like you were literally falling out of your seat to your inevitable death. We've been to all of the big ones. Fast forward through our 20s, marriage, and 3 kids: we decided to go back to one of our favorite parks with my sister and her husband for an adult day of fun (kids stayed with grandma). We paid $60 each and started standing in line. For forever. At some point it started drizzling. We rode three terrifying rides in 3 hours, got drenched, and were about to line up for ride 4 when we all looked at each other and said almost simultaneously, "Let's go find someplace to eat." We ate like pigs with no kids around (the best part) and then we went home and we've never gone to another amusement park. The End.
ReplyDeleteHa ha I had the same experience at the state fair a couple of years ago. I had to do that ballet thing where you try to focus on one spot while spinning to prevent dizziness to keep from puking on a ride. For some reason last year I was back in the game. I think my inner ear is deciding to stop working - maybe it gave me one last gasp. I have a friend that told me the same thing happened to her when she was close to 40.
ReplyDeleteLuckily my kids were old enough last year to do lots on their own - I could be picky and choosy about what sounded fun to me, and the menu has limited significantly.
Ugh, I feel the same...dreading when the kids are old enough to want to do this kind of thing. And I used to LOOOOVVVEEE rollercoasters and amusement parks. Now I get dizzy on a hammock & just thinking about it makes me want to lie down. Maybe it'll be different when I see the look of wonder & amazement on my little darlings' faces...maybe?
ReplyDeleteI'm absolutely terrified of heights, roller coasters, spinning, being upside down, etc. etc!! Going to amusement parks with my family isn't very "amusing" for me when it comes to the rides :)
ReplyDeleteMy kids and hubby LOVE the rides...the bigger and faster the better, while I'd much rather go on the merry-go-round and the little kiddy rides!!
Oh Fizzy. If it makes you feel better, I get mildly nauseated if I turn my head too fast / upsidedown. My stomach flipped the first time I took my daughter down the kiddie slide. I am so screwed if she wants me to take her on a roller coaster.
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