I
used to be you. Well rested. On top of things. Bright-eyed. Now I’m the
sometimes harried Intern with lots of patients, experiencing lots of
sign out and cross-covering. Now I’m the Intern with the baby and
husband who you look at and say “wow, I just don’t know how you do it,
that’s soo much!” while you run out to your weekly exercise class while I
finish my umpteenth note and go home for bath time, dishes, and a glass of wine.
I’m
the one with the mommy pouch that won’t allow me to wear the cute new
fashion trends (who am I kidding, I can’t even afford those trends) and
the hair that needs to be done. I’m the stressed Intern with the
significant student loan debt and monthly loan payments. I don’t tell
you that if I made just a tiny bit less I’d qualify for public welfare
benefits. I’m the one with the job that matters so much that I
constantly check and recheck my orders. It hit me hard Day 1, I write
the orders and they get done. I get the pages and notifications and make
split-moment decisions. I am part of the Code Team. I affect lives. I
affect health care costs.
I
used to be you, the Medical Student, but now I’m the Intern, I’m Doctor
Bee. I used to be scared but not this scared. I used to be tired but not
this tired. I used to be happy, but not this happy (in a wickedly
complex, exhilarating yet scary all while being fulfilled kind of way).
Sometimes I am so envious of you, but more often than not, I’m happy to be exactly where I am.
well said.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you're not hating your life anymore!
ReplyDeleteHappy you are happy. And realizing that it gets better as you go forward!
ReplyDeleteyou go girl!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks y'all. Oh no, did it sound like I was hating life before?!? I guess I really, really dislike moments but overall I'm a pretty chipper chica.
ReplyDelete