When KC put out a call for contributors over a year ago, I
barely hesitated to respond. MiM was such a refuge for me as I navigated new
motherhood as a medical student. Medicine and family have both given my life
such richness, so many highs and just about as many lows. I was eager to share
my experiences with other trainees and especially to be an ambassador for
pathology.
I forgot, however, that despite having the veil of
anonymity, writing candidly and sharing is not something that comes easily to
me. I am not cut out for this… I cringe at just about everything I write or say
when re-visiting it later. Does anyone else struggle with this? We are very
private… we don’t post photos of our children (or ourselves really) on social
media, no pregnancy announcements, no baby showers, you get the picture… we
even eloped at City Hall! I have really struggled to participate but I would
still like to. I can’t tell you how many posts I’ve started but deleted. Those
of you who are more prolific and seasoned in this forum- any advice for letting
go of this paralysis?
Jumping right in, as you have done just now! Letting go the fear of imperfection and just sharing what you've been reflecting about. Glad to see you back. :)
ReplyDeleteAgree with KC above! I've had years when I just wasn't feeling it (Stupid MOC exam). As far as the privacy issue - I am not as private as you are online as far as social media but I have, as my children have gotten older, wanted to write about incidents with them but refrained because of the sensitive nature of the topic (periods, first kisses, temper tantrums - especially as they are entering adolescence). I would never want my kids to read something online and feel violated. I'd keep it lighthearted and I think it will be fine. Share what feels comfortable to you:)
ReplyDeleteI recently read an article about this by a NYT author: https://www.facebook.com/nytimes/posts/10150866869079999
DeleteDefinitely something for me (not private) to keep in mind!
About the writer's block thing, I also get it and I'm not afraid of sharing. Just sometimes the ideas don't flow. Don't feel bad about it and try to use the blog as sort of a journal. Pieces don't have to be perfect.
Thanks for your replies- it's so funny, I actually had written a blog post in response to this NYT article a couple months back that I subsequently deleted haha :)
DeleteI don't have advice so much, as I want to say that I relate to this a lot! I feel the same in being a very private person, I don't post pictures of myself or family or much of anything on social media accounts. MiM had a similar importance to me as you describe in navigating parenting while in medical school and I felt the same excitement of signing up to contribute when that annual call came out. Like you, I have composed and nixed many blog posts. For me, I don't know if it has much to do with perfectionism as it has to do with being a reticent person offline, and that reflects in my interactions online as well. Just as you say, even with the anonymity, I struggle a lot with balancing wanting to participate and the discomfort in putting information about myself "out there". I don't think I'll completely get over that discomfort of sharing information, any more than I'll morph into having a completely different personality. Hopefully we'll both find the balance that feels right to us of sharing and contributing to the community while respecting that discomfort that we feel. Thanks for writing this post, it makes me feel not so alone in feeling the way I feel :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for commiserating!!
DeleteThis is actually why I've been focusing more on fiction and professional writing lately. I don't want to violate my kids' privacy and I don't want to lose my job. So that leaves only the most general stuff to write about or else stories from my past.
ReplyDeleteJust chiming in (super late!) to say..I get it. I've been busy, and stressed and just...not feeling like writing. But you know...I think that's ok. When you're ready to write, you will be. The blog will still be here---for all of us. :-)
ReplyDelete