I met with my small group tutor today who leads our case-based learning sessions. I knew she was going to say I need to take more risks during our sessions and throw my ideas out there even if I'm not totally sure they are correct. I am admittedly suffering from some form of imposter syndrome; given my finance background I sometimes feel inadequate among my gunner science major peers who have spent years in the lab. I know I just need to get over it and I'm making a conscious effort to do so. My tutor did bring up a good point though, that now is the time to get all these insecurities and hesitations out of the way before the clinical years, residency and so on and so forth. She mentioned that she's seen many students, especially quieter females, miss out on various opportunities because of this. I think I'm a true ambivert; extroverted in most social situations, but especially introverted in academic settings when I feel like I don't know every single thing I need to know. And while I don't think I'll ever be that person who loves to contribute anything and everything even if not particularly relevant, I definitely do not want to lose out on opportunities because of it.
I know medicine is about being comfortable with some uncertainty because it's impossible to know it all. And I realize some of this will come with time, but all you lovely aggressive types, please share your ways. And those who had to work at it, how did you eventually get there?
No advice about being more confident appearing (for me what usually works is becoming more confident), but just letting you know things will probably get better once you're in clinics. Clinical medicine bears so little relationship to basic science that your science peers will no longer have an advantage. It's at this time as well that things like life experience and social skills become more important. You'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteThanks OMDG. You bring up a great point. I've heard before that the playing field evens out a bit once we start rotations. Good to hear it from a true non-trad!
DeleteI struggled with this during med school, both the class room years and the clinical years. I hardly ever spoke up, because I wasn't 100% sure about my answers. Even when I thought I knew, I didn't volunteer the information. And it showed up on all my evaluations, and was commented on at every residency interview I did. It's a skill I've had to work on for years. Slowly, it's gotten better. No great advice, but keep working on it. And know that even with my struggles, I completed a strong residency and have a good job and things are ok. I know I'm never going to be the most vocal, but I know that I have to knowledge to speak up when it matters.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment Katherine. This is something I've always struggled with and although it has gotten better with time, I know I can do more. It's nice to know others have been there and have turned out just fine!
DeleteI had the opposite problem - I was told I was too aggressive and spoke up too much. It's a classic case of "women can't win". It's worth thinking through the worst-case scenario - what will happen if you're wrong? How bad could it be?
ReplyDeleteDo you have a cohort of women in your program that you can talk to? Are other women getting the same feedback?
I think this is one of the ways that medical training does a disservice to all trainees, not just students. We seem to think that unless you're jumping up and down with a hand raised, or blurting out the answers, you aren't dedicated, don't have the necessary knowledge base, etc.
ReplyDeleteI am an introvert and was very quiet during medical school. (favorite comment from a clinical rotation eval: "Even thought she is very quiet, this student does an excellent job." Really - "even though"?!?! Were they surprised that quiet people do excellent work?) I don't feel that I missed out on opportunities because of this, though - was selected for a couple by-application summer programs during the basic science years, went to my first-choice residency, matched into a competitive fellowship and now have an academic job that I love. Your clinical and interpersonal skills will be obvious during your clinical years, even if you're not the outspoken student now.
When you get to the clinical years, it's key to let your attendings know what you're interested in - when you're on a rotation you really like, let the faculty know. If you think you might want to do a particular residency, ask questions about it. Do a sub-I or other extra rotations in what you think will be your speciality of choice.
And remember, no one else knows everything they think they need to know either. Even if they act like they do.
Honestly I was a little surprised my tutor emphasized quantity over quality. I've never been one of those fanatical hand raisers, but at the same time I'm not sitting in a corner completely disengaged. Completely get your "even though" comment! And thanks for pointing out the importance of being vocal when it comes to interest in residency. I actually think I'm quite pushy when it comes to getting things I want so hopefully that will work in my favor!
DeleteI am also a first year med student and a true non-traditional (construction management background). I started school in May and have had the imposter feeling since starting. The gunners are killing my confidence, it seems like everything we are learning is review for them, but for me it is the first time I am ever hearing the material. I feel so out of place. I truly hope the playing field levels out soon. Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteHonestly medical school doesn't matter. I would try to view being wrong as your best learning opportunity and speak up whenever you can. If you know you're going to force yourself to ask a question or answer a question the next day, you'll read with much more attention and you'll truly try to digest this stuff. That's all that counts.
ReplyDeleteI can tell you from the perspective of residency that the social dynamics of your class have zero import on where you end up in residency. Your comments on preclinical stuff...also not important. Rotations do start to matter and certainly your rotations in your field of choice are pretty important. So speak up exactly one time per class/question session and more in smaller groups, view it as practice for when it actually counts, and take pride in being wrong.
I don't remember a single answer to questions I got right. I will never forget the answers to the questions I got wrong.
The first "acute abdomen" I ever saw in medical school was a "classic" renal colic with the "classic" associated nausea and vomiting. I froze when my preceptor asked me for my impression and I tried to fake it by saying it was a small bowel obstruction. He gave me a weird look and explained all the reasons it was renal colic and not an SBO. For some reason I still remember this, it was sooo embarrassing at the time. But, I learned:-) I'm not even sure what my point is, except maybe to say 1. Agree with the people above who say it's ok to "be quiet". It is! and 2. If you WANT to speak up more, it's also OK to try it - the "worst that can happen" is that you'll be completely wrong. And you know what, if you are, you'll never forget that particular presentation, and you'll have a great story to tell later about how much that SUCKED. But you and your career will survive, I promise:-) Not to belittle your feelings at all! Just to say "I've been there". Oh, and my impostor syndrome came from having two kids during medical school and feeling judged 24/7 (mostly by myself!) on how I would "measure up" to the ones who didn't have kids during med school... you know, the people who WEREN'T pregnant and sleep deprived and trying to pump and ..... anyway, I'm digressing..
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, you know how the hallucination of bugs crawling on your skin is called formication? When I was a resident we had a case where the resident kept calling it "fornication". It's an easy verbal mistake to make and we all thought it was hilarious. She was a great resident and is a great doctor.
The first "acute abdomen" I ever saw in medical school was a "classic" renal colic with the "classic" associated nausea and vomiting. I froze when my preceptor asked me for my impression and I tried to fake it by saying it was a small bowel obstruction. He gave me a weird look and explained all the reasons it was renal colic and not an SBO. For some reason I still remember this, it was sooo embarrassing at the time. But, I learned:-) I'm not even sure what my point is, except maybe to say 1. Agree with the people above who say it's ok to "be quiet". It is! and 2. If you WANT to speak up more, it's also OK to try it - the "worst that can happen" is that you'll be completely wrong. And you know what, if you are, you'll never forget that particular presentation, and you'll have a great story to tell later about how much that SUCKED. But you and your career will survive, I promise:-) Not to belittle your feelings at all! Just to say "I've been there". Oh, and my impostor syndrome came from having two kids during medical school and feeling judged 24/7 (mostly by myself!) on how I would "measure up" to the ones who didn't have kids during med school... you know, the people who WEREN'T pregnant and sleep deprived and trying to pump and ..... anyway, I'm digressing..
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, you know how the hallucination of bugs crawling on your skin is called formication? When I was a resident we had a case where the resident kept calling it "fornication". It's an easy verbal mistake to make and we all thought it was hilarious. She was a great resident and is a great doctor.