I'm sure almost every physician has experienced patients complimenting them, or more likely complaining about, how long young they look. I've been told that I look like I'm in college, in high school, ought to be suckling on my mama's teet, etc. you know what I'm talking about.
As I get into my mid 30s, these comments are becoming more seldom, which is what I would expect. I've spent my life wearing a sun hat to protect my skin, despite years of ridicule, I don't smoke or drink, but no matter how good care I take of myself, I've never met a 40-year-old who looks like they could be in high school. So like it or not, these comments are sure to stop in the next few years.
It's not like I feel young. I've been a doctor for nearly a decade, and I am the mother of two children. I certainly don't feel like a high school kid. So I don't know if it's terrible to not look like one. I would rather be respected for my wisdom.
Before I run out and buy 10 bottles of concealer, share with me what you think the best things about looking older are for a woman. There's got to be something!
Your closest family and friends have seen you age, but they are still here and love you all the same! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm a younger woman, but the most beautiful women I know are older women. Not only in their physical appearance, but also in how they carry themselves with such poise and grace, especially when difficulties arise and they meet them head on. Older women are my role models for ageing well. :)
ReplyDeleteExactly as you stated, its only been in the past 2-3 years that I stopped getting the "you don't look old enough to be a doctor" "how long have you been doing this?" nonsense from patients. It was long overdue (I'm 38) but I've got to say, it may be the only good part...
ReplyDeleteI think the confidence that comes with being older is the best thing. I love when older women know their style, when they look put together and authentic. My personal style icon is Michelle Obama - if you look at her in her 20s and 30s, she was in college, raising a young family (looked a bit frazzled, like me), but then in her later 30s and now 40s, she's like "I've got this!!!". She looks great. I hope to be like her. In my early 30s, I am working on crafting my style and confidence.
ReplyDeleteI agree with "know their style." I'm still young, but it has taken me the past decade to find just the right hair color for me. I imagine it will take the next ten years to find just the right haircut!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your input, everyone! I definitely think I look "better for my age" than I have in the past, so that's a plus :-)
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ReplyDeleteIt's nice being recognized for your achievements and no long wondering whether you earned them, or if you only got noticed because you're attractive.
ReplyDeleteI have gotten similar comments, but they also have gotten fewer. I will be 40 in July. I think some people tend to respect you more as you get older. For instance, if someone tells me I look too young to be a doctor, it makes me wonder if they will believe what I say or follow my advice. I also feel like I'm finally finding my groove as far as healthy eating and taking care of myself goes.
ReplyDeleteI think some of those, "you look so young" comments are backhanded negative ones-means that they don't take you very seriously. I guess now we start to command a little more respect in our mid 30s!
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of a gray area! I welcomed my few gray hairs back in 2009 on this blog (alon gwith Pres Obama) http://www.mothersinmedicine.com/2009/03/gray-area.html And I don't really have that many more now, but I have definitely aged around my eyes. They say the eyes are a window to the soul, but my soul still feels young!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I think it's how you feel, older and wiser, calmer, mature. And as my kids have told me, spontaneously, and more than once, the lines that form around my eyes when I smile make me look happy.
The best thing about it in my opinion (mid 30s) is that you stop feeling the pressure of having to prove yourself all the time. I normally get the comments when I wear make up or if I covered my grays. Although, the question stopped irritating me a while back when I realized it's not personal (what an epiphany!). All sorts of people have certain judgements/expectations, and they were projecting them onto me. Whenever I get that comment, I either thank them for "the best compliment of the day" or ask "would you feel more comfortable re-scheduling with an older Physician". Immediately this checks them back to reality of the present moment and they realize that the comment was unnecessary. I have also told people that despite being qualified to care for them, they deserve someone they feel comfortable with and so I would not be offended if they switched Providers.. and this has also made them realize that I am looking out for their best interest. But if you look young.. I say revel in it while you can! Why not? It's a blessing to have accomplished amazing feats at a young age!
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