Mothership

Before I had a baby, I didn't really believe all that stuff people told me about how the baby constantly cries and wakes you up all night. I thought that was just something they added in movies and TV shows for comic relief. And even if the baby woke up a lot, so what? I had survived med school and internship! This was going to be like a walk in the park.

But then I had a baby and OH MY GOD. I didn't understand how any woman ever had a second one of those things. (It did get better though.)

I was recently discussing this topic with a fellow female resident/mama and we decided that between internship and the first month of your baby's life, that first month is much more exhausting. In fact, that first month is not that unlike internship...

10 ways that intern year is similar to the first month of your baby's life:

1. You are constantly bothered by family members who think they know how to be a better mother/doctor than you.

2. As a new mom, you spend 90% of your time in pajamas. As an intern, you spend 90% of your time in scrubs, the pajamas of doctors.

3. In the beginning of internship, you're woken up pretty much every hour. Then as you get more competent at remembering to do things like, oh, sign your orders, you get woken up less. In the beginning of motherhood, you're woken up pretty much every hour. Then as your baby gets fatter, you get woken up less.

4. Even when you finally get to sleep, you remain in a state of catlike readiness.

5. Weekends, as you've previously known them, cease to exist.

6. You deal with poop a lot.

7. Hygiene falls sadly by the wayside.

8. You're constantly worried that something bad will happen to your patients/baby.

9. 99% of your meals come out of a container that says Kraft or Cup of Noodles on it.

10. For once, you sort of feel like you have a purpose.