It's Saturday night and my husband and I have just returned from a very rare night out without our children Nearly Two and Just Four. So rare that it just may have been a first. Not that he and I don't go out, it's just that we do it As A Family. So, the four of us go out to lunch and the library and the park and the ice cream shop and the occasional museum. On weekdays we do go to work As Adults , but it is no Couples Time. This may come after the kids go to sleep, unless, of course, they are still awake.
All of our time when we are not actually at work is Family Time. We do not have a babysitter at the ready. Somewhat embarrassed to say how long it has been since I've seen a movie on the big screen. We put our children to sleep late, and we like to say it is simply in accordance with their natural circadian rhythms, but more accurately we've groomed them to fall asleep late enough so Working Parents can get in some quantity (quality?) play time at the close of day. Is it just us, or is this a modern day dual career family phenomenon? Actually, no one other than me or my husband has put our children to sleep in 4+ years, except for the one night when I was In Labor.
Even tonight, we rushed home from our Night Out to put Nearly Two and Just Four to bed , late as it was. Once home awash in hugs and cheers, we were surprised to find that they had a great time without us, feasting on fries with Recently Local Grandma. And we had a pretty good time being A Couple, as well. Maybe we'll go out on a date again, in another 4 years...
I can relate. My husband and I figured out the beauty of meeting for lunch during the week. Kids are at school/daycare anyway, we both need to eat - why not? A half hour scarfing down soup and sandwiches together isn't lingering over a meal at Feenie's before a show, but I'll take what I can get.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good first step. We have lived 15 minutes from Nana and Pop since before our first was born (not a coincidence; part of the strategic plan for sanity). Thus, we've been able to go out, just the two of us, on a semi-regular basis. (although not as often as you would think)
ReplyDeleteOur children go to bed early, hence my whole "Criminal" post. We were brainwashed by a certain popular children's sleep book for the early-to-bed, happy child phenomenon and have gotten somewhat addicted to the post-children-sleep personal time euphoria.
Being able to allow someone else to put the kids to bed is a big psychological hurdle, but usually the kids seem to handle it just fine, even if you secretly hope they Need You.
Take advantage of Recently Local Grandma! I think it's good for the kids and great for the two of you.
Oh I remember this and it's been 38 years! But I was a SAHM.
ReplyDeleteI get so frustrated for mothers of young children when others try to make them feel guilty, regardless of the parenting choice.
ReplyDeleteHusband and I have a date night every year or so. Don't wait 4 years! :)
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