"What's the problem?" I asked.
"You forgot to pack your daughter's snack today," she said. "Also, you forgot it one other time. I don't know what's going on there."
I pay a small fortune for my kids to get school lunch (which I'm convinced they don't actually eat), but in addition to that, we have to pack a snack. I don't remember having snack time in elementary school. I think we got lunch and that's it. But regardless, snack time is the convention. And on two occasions in a three month period, I forgot to pack it.
The thing that surprised me is... am I really the only mom in the whole class who forgot to pack a snack twice in three months? Is that really something that should make the teacher look at me like I'm irresponsible? I have a lot of things to do in the morning and I just forgot.
I used to have a great memory.
I don't know what happened. I can't remember anything anymore. I have alarms in my phone to remind me to tell my daughter to pack her clarinet on band day, to remind her to study for her Friday exams, because I'd never remember otherwise. I put reminders and alarms in my phone about every appointment, every social event, everything I do.
And it's still not enough. My kindergartner is totally incapable of remembering her backpack in the morning if I don't remind her, and yesterday, I forgot to remind her. So we got to school and.... no backpack. I had to call my husband and beg him to bring her the backpack on his way to work, which he did, but I forgot to put her dance clothes in the backpack, which was practically the only thing she needed in the damn thing anyway.
But at least her snack was in there.
LOL! I forgot snacks plenty of times, and no teacher ever said anything - but Jack sometimes called me out on it. Stepmom, a 5th grade teacher, taught me to let them do things like pack snacks and lunches for themselves at a much younger age than I would have thought possible. I would be so shocked to learn that Jack had a jelly sandwich and chips cause they were out of fruit over there and it was all he could find in the fridge at 7 and 8 yo but I was also like Wow! He is doing it himself. I know yours are a little younger, but start soon!!
ReplyDeleteAnd BTW it's not memory loss it's motherhood. I've got it too:). The challenge is to learn not to beat yourself up for forgetting things, and some forgotten social events are a good thing b/c you need that time for yourself. And the teacher, about the snack? Forget her that's her problem.
She's capable of packing a snack, it's just remembering it that's a problem. It amazes me how little a 5 year old is able to keep in her head. I can count on one hand the number of times she's remembered her backpack without me having to remind her.
DeleteI think they are still at the age of magical thinking - that's part of it. Concrete logical thinking doesn't come until 11 or 12. Their heads are constantly in the clouds. I was reminded of that in transparenting classes during divorce lol. That's a good thing - they are developing their imaginations. It's what I like to blame my forgetfulness on - I'm in my second stage of magical thinking:). Only there's no psych research to back that up, so likely I'm in early dementia like you.
DeleteWell I hope it's not dementia because if it is we are all screwed! I have to admit I was also a little annoyed by the teacher's comment. I've been working on reframing those sorts of things so they bother me less, but it's hard!
ReplyDeleteWhat planet is that teacher from? Clearly she doesn't have children. I have forgotten snack (they always have emergency ones, you could see about leaving a box of goldfish in the class btw), put homework in the wrong child's backpack, you name it. I also used to have a fabulous memory, but there is only so much the human brain can hold. Your child will survive.
ReplyDeleteOh, that would make me SO MAD. Grrr. Unbreakable routine - backpack in the same place every day, picked up before we walked out the door - was the only thing that saved us at that age. I am lucky to have a kid with excess executive functioning who manages her own life and tries to manage ours as well...so my worsening memory didn't cause her too much difficulty.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to feel better my husband once got to school only to find out that our then 5 year old had left his shoes at home.
ReplyDeleteYes, my husband has brought kids to school with no shoes on too.
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what about sending 1-2 weeks of nonperishable snacks at a time (granola bars, fruit cups)? that way it won't be forgotten
ReplyDeleteFortunately I don't have to pack food for my child right now because mine is still in daycare which provides all the meals and snacks. But the number of times I have packed myself lunch and snacks for the day and left it sitting on the kitchen counter... far too many!
ReplyDelete