I am a third year medical student interested in pediatrics and my husband is a 4th year medical student applying to EM. We have always wanted a large family and lately our (almost) three year old son has started asking incessantly for a baby as well. (When I asked him what he wanted for his birthday this year, his response was "a brother and sister.")
Our original plan was to have our second child during my relatively less busy 4th year, but now that I've started 3rd year rotations, I'm starting to wonder if it is a good idea or not. Balancing motherhood with being a student for the first two years was one thing, but these last few weeks have been an entirely new level of chaotic and stressful! Is it really realistic to add another baby to the mix right now?
On the other hand, having a newborn in residency seems like it would be just as daunting, and waiting until afterwards would mean that my son would be almost 10 before he has his first sibling and I would not have enough reproductive years left to have the big family we envisioned.
I know that there never is a "good" time to have a baby, but in your experiences - what has been the better timeline?
Thank you all so much! You have no idea how much this blog has helped me survive these last couple of years!
-K
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ReplyDeleteI got pregnant in December of my third year and am due in September of 4th year. I scheduled my rotations knowing that I wanted to get pregnant then, so I had lighter rotations in the spring. Right now I am on my Sub-I (in psych) and I am starting to feel the effects of the pregnancy but I overall feel like my performance hasn't suffered and I am extremely happy with the timing. Fourth year scheduling is so flexible that I will get 14 weeks home with baby, and that was without any special accommodations or schedule requests. My personal experience would strongly advocate for a third year pregnancy/fourth year delivery. If I could tweak one thing (and everything worked out exactly as planned), I might try for a pregnancy that ends in January so that I didn't have to interview with a newborn....but then you're interviewing 30+ weeks pregnant, which would be it's own set of challenges. Whatever you chose, best of luck to you!!
ReplyDeleteI wish I had a child during 4th year. That was by far the time when I had the most flexibility and free time. I had two kids during residency and it was fine. Hard, or course but not impossible. It helps to be in a big program where maternity leave is easily absorbed by so many other people and there are lots of people to make trades with when necessary.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that having a baby when you are a student will be much less stressful than having one when you are a resident. Go for it!
ReplyDeleteI know several women who had babies during their M4 year (myself included), and we all agree it was the best time possible. Lighter schedule, fewer responsibilities, more flexibility. Go for it!!
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ReplyDeleteI too had a beginning of fourth yr baby. It was the best time. Fourth year is reall flexible and has a lot of free time.
ReplyDeleteI had 2 kids during med school. One boy during 2nd year, a girl during 4th year. And let me tell you it was MUCH less stressful with the 2nd. I had saved 2 months of vacation time when she finally came and I had set it up so I had already completed all of my core rotations and only had easy peasy rotations left. I had a lot of free time with my kids. My husband was busy as he was in residency so I was very glad the kids had at least 1 parent at home they constantly saw. Both my pregnancies were really easy so I had that going for me too. The only negative thing was my morning sickness while pregnant with my second child and having to get through my peds rotation with that. However, it only lasted 3-4 weeks and it was smooth sailing after that. I really loved being pregnant and am now in residency ready to try for #3. I say go for it. I am extremely happy with my decision. Like you, I don't want to wait until it may be too late to have more children and I don't want to look back on my life with regret.
ReplyDeleteSo many people in my class had a baby during 4th year! I got married that year so my priority was different, but had my baby during intern year. If I could suggest a time to be pregnant and have a newborn it would by MS4. You should have vacation time and the option for easy electives for the tougher times surrounding pregnancy and postpartum.
ReplyDeletePersonally I'm a fan of having siblings grow up together when possible. By the time the age gap gets to 7 years (give or take), kids are essentially like only children. it's not a matter of what's right or wrong, but I'd rather have my own kids spaced closer than 5 years, hopefully closer to 2-3. That means trying for another pregnancy during residency which will be daunting, it's brighter than the thought of waiting several more years.