Q: Dr. Fizzy, would you like to get the H1N1 vaccine?
A: Yes, I very much would. I would also like to live in a giant house and go to a spa every day. What I want and the reality differ somewhat.
Q: Is the H1N1 vaccine mandatory at your hospital?
A: No. Not only is it not mandatory, but it is not even available. I waited on line for over an hour to get my seasonal flu vaccine, but I don't even have that opportunity right now for H1N1. Someone on this very blog commented to me that I was a high priority group and it was my duty to get that vaccine ASAP. Well, my left deltoid and/or nasal passages are ready to receive it. Where is it? ("In my arm" is neither a nice nor helpful answer.)
Q: Are you worried about the impact of the H1N1 virus?
A: Uh, yeah. My own state seems to be one of the few not as hard hit, but in the blogosphere, physicians keep commenting about flu tents and all the formerly healthy kids in the PICU, which I obviously just love hearing about. This is always followed by the ominous comment, "Did you get your flu shot yet?" Apparently, in some places, it's easier to get this vaccine than in others. If I had any way of getting this vaccine, believe me, I would. Right now, you may as well criticize me for not being six feet tall. Can you tell I'm frustrated?
Q: Are you going to get the H1N1 vaccine for your child?
A: Up until a day ago, the pediatrician's office's website had a message up that said, "YOU CRAZY PARENTS STOP CALLING ABOUT THE SWINE FLU VACCINE! WE DON'T HAVE IT!!" (or some paraphrasing of that) Now it says that they have limited supplies only available for kids with less than five neutrophils in their body or something. So yes, I plan to get it for my child, but not this week, I don't think.
Q: Do you believe that the H1N1 vaccine causes autism, cancer, lupus, or HIV?
A: No, but I'm fairly sure it causes genital warts. So watch out!!
This is so true... 200 doses for all health care workers at our hospital thus far. They are giving it to pregnant health care workers first, which seems appropriate.
ReplyDeleteLove it. :) And hey, you're not missing much. I got the shot on Monday, and have felt like crap ever since. All I have to say is, I must have one robust immune system, to have a reaction like this to a stupid killed virus. Haven't noticed any warts yet, so all good there! Whew! No autism either. :-P
ReplyDeleteIt's getting so ridiculous - in our clinic yesterday first I was told we had none, then one of our (pediatric) nurses "stole" 13 injectable doses of H1N1 from the family practice office we share a clinic with. (We're all part of the same hospital system.) Then someone found half a dozen doses of the nasal H1N1, and we only had "regular" flu shots for the <3 year old crowd. We had to claim the H1N1 shots for our patients if we heard about them in time. It was ridiculous! I appreciate that the vaccine makers are (probably) making this stuff as fast as they can, but jeez, I wish they'd go faster!
haha. You are too funny!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it sounded funny rather than just angry :)
ReplyDeleteMy small private practice got a VERY LIMITED supply of H1N1, about 10% of what we requested, with instructions from our state health dept. to use for pregnant women, young children, severe pulmonary disease, and our immunosuppressed patients.
ReplyDeleteWe may as well be secret vendors for high grade heroin.
Our phone lines are clogged all day long and every patient I vaccinate is being sworn to secrecy as to where they got it.
Almost everyone who calls the office swears they have ASTHMA (they must have read the criteria on-line somewhere), even though their voluminous chart has no record of any pulmonary problem.
I was at a professional meeting this week which included some non-physician psychologists. Three of them tried to hit me up for the vaccine and even argued when I told them they weren't eligible according to the current high-risk strategy!
If things get any worse we'll have to become a medical office with an unlisted phone number.
Are you serious about the genital warts ?? Now im scared ! why ??
ReplyDeleteMy husband is now forcing me to add a disclaimer that I don't actually think the H1N1 vaccine causes genital warts.
ReplyDeleteWe have quite a large supply of the vaccine in Australia- so everyone is offered it (don't have to be high risk). I wonder if our public uptake of the vaccine is low and that is why we have so much, because our flu season has passed and the media is no longer talking about the flu.
ReplyDeleteI am a pregnant doctor so got my vaccine last week (after seeing a patient with suspected swine flu- the first case I've seen in 10 weeks).
One thing I'm curious about is the vaccine here "Panvax" is not approved for children under 10. Do we have a different vaccine to the USA? Is our government just more cautious? Do we not have enough vaccine to offer to children? I have a 5yr old asthmatic and highly peanut allergic daughter and I would love her to get the vaccine- maybe we should hop on a plane and go to the USA so she can have it ;)
Rebecca
Wish it were available here. We have been pretty hard hit... but oh well. Not even pregnant ladies with other underlying medical conditions and kids in daycare can get it. CRAZY!
ReplyDeleteOut here, a local community clinic received 30K doses and was offerring them yesterday. The local news showed people waiting in line starting at 3am (the clinic opened at 9am). It has shades of Black Friday, but not at all in a yay-shopping kind of way.
ReplyDeleteI'm a fam med doc who admits/cares for pregnant ladies and newborns, and am 34 weeks pregnant myself, but I was told by my community hospital that I was not a priority for the injectable vaccine!! (sorry, only NICU and ER staff) Argh! Now I'm waiting for the phantom orders of vaccine to appear at either my office or my doc's office... Mask, anyone?
ReplyDeleteHilarious post! The hysteria over the vaccine is in full swing in my area. I went to work to get my seasonal flu shot and hopefully H1N1, was informed that I couldn't get the H1N1 at that moment even though there was a nice vial full of it sitting next to the seasonal stuff, because "I don't work in a high risk area". Huh. For some reason, I thought ICU = high risk. Of course, within three hours of arriving back home, I got a recorded message from work informing me that doses were now being released and that I had 12 hours to get my rear back to the hospital to receive my shot. Whatever. I ignored it. Not going to take an extra 60 mile round trip if I don't have to. I've since gotten messages two more times at noon on days that they want me to come in between 1 and 4. I haven't yet because the timing was bad, but at least I know I can get it now without standing in line at the health department for 5 hours like my poor pregnant cousin did...
ReplyDeleteEven if they don't cause any pain, who wants their partners seeing these genital warts on your body - or you seeing and feeling them each and every day? genital warts
ReplyDelete