This work-family balance is very tenuous. It's Sunday night and after a relaxing, fun-filled weekend with the kids I am dreading going to work tomorrow. I will miss them. Not to mention, I just sat down at my computer to 'check in' and am reminded that I have a ton of email to respond to, a ton of projects to keep moving forward and a busy week ahead. So as I sit here desperately trying to organize my life before the craziness of the week, I have fleeting thoughts of what it would be like if I didn't have to do all this, if I didn't work and if I could just kick my feet up and watch a little TV or read a book...(what I am convinced 'normal' people do).
...and yet I know that at around 2pm tomorrow when I"m in the thick of it at work, intellectually engaged, stimulated and satisfied after helping a few patients, I will feel content to be working and perhaps even excited about some of the projects with the residents. I will walk to my car tomorrow evening thinking about how happy I am with the balance in my life and how I would be intellectually bored if I didn't have my work.
...and then I will go home, play with the girls, cuddle them to sleep and wish again that I didn't have to wake up so early in the morning to go to work.
I know I would be unhappy as a SAHM. But I do honestly sometimes wish I were in a career where it was possible to take a sick day without the whole universe collapsing.
ReplyDeleteI feel exactly the same way the night before I go back on-service. I use the word 'dread'. In the thick of working, I am happy, stimulated, rewarded, but the anticipatory dread never goes away. It's like mourning.
ReplyDeleteIt seems my weekends are as crazy at work just with my own kids instead of the ones at work!! Between, piano, swim, playdates, birthdays - it's sometimes a relief to go to work! I do really love that night time cuddle - and my little early bird kid's hugs in the morning before work - that's when the heartstrings pull...
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